05 8 / 2011
Yesterday, while listening to Michael Krasney’s show Forum on KQED. I heard therapist and author (For Yourself, For Each Other, Going the Distance and several other good books, Lonnie Barbach Ph.D., discussing relationships. I believe being in a relationship is one of the most difficult, but worthwhile experiences one can have. The basic component in any relationship whether it be with your spouse, children, parents, co-workers, friends etc… is good communication. Harville Hendrix, P.h.D. wrote a good book I recommend for couples, Getting The Love You Want. In it he gives stories and suggestions that can help you and your partner HEAR each other in order to facilitate changes that can help you become closer.
One of the things that Lonnie said had to do with technology, and how many people have their Smart Phones on the table or in their hand at restaurants, and often take calls during dinner with their partner. She said there are many reasons people have for doing this, and one way you can use your Smart Phone is to send your spouse lover a seductive text during the day saying something like, “I miss you!” , “I’m so looking forward to putting the kids to bed and spending time with you.” , “Let’s get a babysitter for Saturday night and go to a hotel!” etc… be creative.
She called it. “Technological Foreplay”. I’m sure she’s not the first to use the term, but it was the first time I’d heard it. I know it probably happens in new relationships, but it can enhance a long term relationship too. We tend to become complacent in long term relationships and that’s when we have to come up with ideas to keep the juices flowing. One night away, just the two of you, can do just that. Couples need to reconnect! Especially when they have kids. More on that later! Love~~~ Cheryl