27 4 / 2012
My Father Died!!!
My 90 year old Father died April 11th. He had been suffering with dementia and finally succumbed to bone cancer (as a result of prostate cancer). It wasn’t an easy death. Unlike my first husband Michael’s. He was in the middle of teaching his special needs kids when he turned to return to his desk, fell and was probably dead when he landed on the floor.
I’m writing about this because most of us won’t be fortunate enough to just go into the great unknown softly and gently, e.g., one minuter you’re there and then you’re not.
My Father’s death made me again aware of my own. I say again because the ‘grim reaper’ has touched me several times, taken a swipe, then moved on.
I don’t want to die the way both my parents did. I want to be able to decide when enough is enough. BUT, we live in a society that respects animals, right not to suffer, and not their caregivers as well. I don’t think any creature should suffer at the end of their life, us included.
If I’m not able to do it myself, I want to have the right to ask for an overdose of heroin to be injected into me,. I choose heroin because I’ve heard it’s quick and easy. If I’m wrong and there is something better, please let me know.
Please don’t misunderstand, I LOVE LIFE and I’m not afraid to die, I just don’t want to be drugged into a stupor via morphine,etc…. My fear is my Dad was suffering unimaginably, because no body really knows what the dying are experiencing in a drug induced coma.
I noticed Dad’s chest was very warm as he struggled to breath and remained so for several hours after he died. It felt as if his motor (heart) had revved up so high to keep him going, that it finally burned itself out.
I was raised Catholic and left the church when I was 18. I don’t believe there is a god who is less compassionate than I am. There is no god who would reject me for taking my own life. I wish we lived in a society that treated it’s citizens with respect and not one that treats us as if we are intellectually challenged and can’t make informed decisions for ourselves. Right now there are too many of those who are in office, both on the state and national levels who feel it’s their ‘sectarian’ right to control the rest of us. (birth control, accurate sex information, same sex marriage laws, helping the top 1% stay where they are, lack of funding for educating the 99% etc….)
There are a few enlightened States where people can die with dignity. Thank you Oregon and Washington.
I want California to follow in their footsteps. I’d prefer not to have to leave my home in order to have my legitimate last wishes met. I’ve just joined Death With Dignity National Center. Here’s their website should you feel the way I do about the last important decision of your life being in your own hands!
http://www.deathwithdignity.org/acts/ With Love~~~~ Cheryl
I LOVE YOU DAD!!!!! 
